Aug. 3, 2006 – Originally published by CNC, Inc.

Vacation On The Cape – Pet Resorts And Sign Language In Cars

In my continuing effort this summer to report on the state of the American summer vacation, we turn this week to what is an annual event in our family: the Cape Cod vacation. Now, the Cape is known internationally as a wonderful vacation spot, so we New Englanders might take the Cape for granted a little bit - while you are whining: "I can't really face the traffic on the Bourne Bridge, what with my PMS and this hangnail and all," some French person is packing excitedly and saying into his French telephone, "Mais oui! Zee Cape Cod - home of many Cod! I cannot wait to see zee famous Bourne Bridge with its happy American travelers backed up for miles - it will be like zee Olympics!" It's all a matter of perspective.

The first thing I'd like to say about our vacation on the Cape is: my dog is at a puppy resort while I am on the Cape, and I'm not kidding. It is actually called a pet resort, and I can only hope he is not ordering massages and sparkling water as I type this, from our family's rental at the Cape. Let's just say, I slept in a bedroom that was a million degrees in temperature last night, wrestling with my husband for more air from the oscillating fan (before the power outage, that is), while my dog Copper was in a climate-controlled "suite" waiting for a pre-ordered "puppy playtime." I'm serious. That conversation with the resort employee went something like this: "OK, we have Copper scheduled for July 28-Aug. 4. Will you be ordering any playtimes, cuddletimes, or bedtime stories with that?" The employee smiled politely, expectantly. I was confused. "No, I'm not staying here," I laughed, correcting the employee and looking around at a few of the other pet owners waiting patiently for support, "this is a dog we're talking about. See? There he is right over there, chewing on your water fountain. The one with the leash wrapped around every paw and also his neck. He's staying, I'm leaving. Got it?" The employee sighed and shrugged, and I felt terrible, suddenly. What did I expect Copper to do for hours in his suite anyway - sit around and wait for me to show back up, suddenly reappearing into his life? I had a lot of nerve! I had to show some good faith with at least two playtimes and one cuddletime! And there is not a self-respecting half-hound half-beagle that would dare leave this place without a bath and a deep-tissue massage! So, Copper is having the time of his life while we are gone - I can only hope he will remember me when I show back up, pathetically without any type of offering, gift or service, just with lots of love and hugs. I can tell right now that's not going to cut it.

Well, after we deposited Copper in his version of heaven, it was time to hit the road in two cars, since due to work, teen and family obligations we are not actually going to be seeing a lot of each other while on the family vacation. I was in one car with my 17-year-old, while my husband was ahead of us (he's so competitive he won't let me "take the lead" for a minute on the highway) with my 7-year-old, who spent the whole three and one-half hours swiveled completely backwards in his seat, trying to communicate with us via sign language. Let me tell you now; there are only so many times you can give the thumbs-up sign on a long trip without your thumb cramping up. Also, my teenage son tried to educate me on rap music (the good, the bad, and the ugly) while I happily sang snatches of songs by Hall and Oates, Poco, and Fleetwood Mac until he turned them off on me. I also tried to heed the commercials and use this time as productive mother/son communication time until he laughed and reminded me, "You're a stay-at-home mom! All we do is talk! I promise I won't smoke cigarettes, okay?"

So, here I am at Cape Cod, where the sun is shining and the waves are rolling in, and people are showing off body piercings that only a fertile imagination can truly appreciate. I have a new sunburn, an old bathing suit, and a deep appreciation for dogs, who are smart enough to be born into the era of the "puppy resort." Next stop: Disneyland, where I will also file a report. Right now I'm going to go hang out with some French people who can't get enough of Cape Cod!